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I remember when they all to play Greensleeves, used to drive me up the bloody wall.

I've heard her screeching carrying's on, she's got more mouth than a cow's got arse.

Cook Once? Eat Three

My fingers were pissed, from sprinkling the wine on my fish (fash)

If I looked like her I'd have it covered as well, a definite two bagger? one for her and one for the mirror, poor bastard hear I mean the mirror.

Why Men Need a Wife? A man goes to a therapist and says, ‘Doc, I don’t want to get married. I’m financially stable, I can cook, clean, and take care of myself. I don’t need a wife.’ The therapist thinks for a moment and then says, ‘Well, let me ask you this: Who’s going to tell you when...

LEXICOGRAPHER

10 X 10 HO HUM...SAME OLD, SAME OLD. Nothing changes no matter how many requests.

Alphabetical

Personally I think if a pie needs tomato sauce it not's worth eating, as that's all I can taste. If anything I put a dab of butter in the meat as I find it enhancing the flavour.

Or should it be Abnorma stitz??

She seems to be one angry individual, so I find it easier just to treat them with the contempt they thoroughly deserve. I carry no care nor malice for others ignorance.

American Airlines A man on a flight to Chicago suddenly found himself having an urgent need to use the bathroom. He headed over to the men’s room, nervously tapping his foot on the floor of the aircraft. Each time he tried the door, it was occupied. A stewardess noticed his predicament and...

Or in some cases. BEASTS OF OLD BURDEN

Everyone blames willpower? what you need is nopower.

Why Women Need a Husband? A Woman goes to a Psychiatrist and complains: “I don’t want to marry”. I am educated, independent, and self-sufficient. I don’t need a husband. But my parents are asking me to marry. What do I do ? The psychiatrist replied: “YOU, undoubtedly will achieve great...

Spell Of Silence A prince was put under a spell so that he could speak only one word each year. If he didn’t speak for two years, the following year he could speak two words and so on. One day, he fell in love with a beautiful lady. He refrained from speaking for two whole years so he could...

Reminds me of the woman who read that the best way of committing suicide was to shoot herself a half inch below the left breast? She blew her kneecap off.

Unfortunately due to age and health reasons have to stay here otherwise I'd be long gone, Hope you keep having fair winds and following seas.

But still have wheels that want to go in opposite directions?