SDC Rewards Member Upgrade yours now
Luckyus

Luckyus

Well-known member
Dec 18, 2021
12,421
29,313
113
87
Here, There and Everywhere?
The Ostrich

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.

The waitress asks them for their orders.

The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"

"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order.

"That will be 9.40p please"

The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again, and the man Says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke."

The ostrich says, "I'll have the same."

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?" Asks the waitress.

"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and A salad," says the man.

"Same," says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be 32.62p."

Once again, the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and Places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, Sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?"

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would ask for a Million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"

"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.

The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?"

The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall bird with a big arse and long legs who agrees with everything I say.."
 
So funny
 
A bloke walking along the beach walks up to a fisherman and starts chatting when he notices a large biro and a bottle in his creel.
‘That’s a rather large pen you’ve got, where did you get it?’
The fishermen says ‘ I found that bottle and when I opened it out came a genie who granted me one wish’
The bloke says ‘can I have a go?’
So out pops the genie and the bloke asks for a million bucks.
At that moment the sky darkens and the sound of a million ducks fills the air.
‘What the fcuk?’ says the bloke.
The fisherman says ‘the genie is partly deaf, do you think I asked for a 12” BIC?’
 
Last edited:
A bloke walking along the beach walks up to a fisherman and starts chatting when he notices a large biro and a bottle in his creel.
‘That’s a rather large pen you’ve got, where did you get it?’
The fishermen says ‘ I found that bottle and when I opened it out came a genie who granted me one wish’
The bloke says ‘can I have a go?’
So out pops the genie and the bloke asks for a million bucks.
At that moment the sky darkens and the sound of a million ducks fills the air.
‘What the fcuk?’ says the bloke.
The fisherman says ‘the genie is partly deaf, do you think I asked for a 12” BIC?’
I have that one in my joke book too!
 
Sandcastle
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: Ivory
There is no such thing as a new joke, just reworded oldies.
 
There is no such thing as a new joke, just reworded oldies.
i Have to disagree on that they are just book jokes. I have written quite a few politician jokes and even used images above Trump getting shot in the ear...Julia Gilliard pooping on Tony Abbott they were mine and a lot of others were ... of course, some people do what you say, but a lot do come originally and others rehashed to suit the times.
 
i Have to disagree on that they are just book jokes. I have written quite a few politician jokes and even used images above Trump getting shot in the ear...Julia Gilliard pooping on Tony Abbott they were mine and a lot of others were ... of course, some people do what you say, but a lot do come originally and others rehashed to suit the times.
Don't seem to many of them here?
 
Don't seem to many of them here?
I don't have the connection that you have...AND why is posting here an issue?
Your posting are good enough ....
 

Join the conversation

News, deals, games, and bargains for Aussies over 60. From everyday expenses like groceries and eating out, to electronics, fashion and travel, the club is all about helping you make your money go further.

Seniors Discount Club

The SDC searches for the best deals, discounts, and bargains for Aussies over 60. From everyday expenses like groceries and eating out, to electronics, fashion and travel, the club is all about helping you make your money go further.
  1. New members
  2. Jokes & fun
  3. Photography
  4. Nostalgia / Yesterday's Australia
  5. Food and Lifestyle
  6. Money Saving Hacks
  7. Offtopic / Everything else
  • We believe that retirement should be a time to relax and enjoy life, not worry about money. That's why we're here to help our members make the most of their retirement years. If you're over 60 and looking for ways to save money, connect with others, and have a laugh, we’d love to have you aboard.
  • Advertise with us

User Menu

Enjoyed Reading our Story?

  • Share this forum to your loved ones.
Change Weather Postcode×
Change Petrol Postcode×