The loneliness epidemic hiding in our suburbs (and the surprisingly simple cure)

There's an irony in modern Australian life that would be amusing if it weren't so widespread. We live mere metres from dozens of people, yet many of us couldn't pick our next-door neighbours out of a lineup at Woolies.

It's a peculiar kind of loneliness—surrounded by potential friends, yet feeling utterly alone in our own driveways.

If this sounds familiar, you're far from alone. A comprehensive new study reveals that nearly half of Australians don't know all their neighbours' names, and more than three-quarters of us agree we're less interested in getting to know the people living around us compared to two decades ago. But here's the surprising twist: the solution might be simpler than you think, and the benefits more profound than you'd imagine.

The great Australian disconnect

The Real Neighbours Report 2025 found that 72 per cent of Australians believe we're less interested in knowing our neighbours compared to 20 years ago. Even more telling, almost two-thirds (62 per cent) have lived next to someone for more than six months without ever meeting them.

The research, which surveyed more than 5,000 Australians across the country, paints a picture of communities increasingly living in parallel rather than together. Only a third (33 per cent) proactively introduce themselves to neighbours upon moving in, suggesting we've collectively developed a case of social stage fright when it comes to that first 'hello.'

But why does this matter? Recent research from the University of Queensland provides compelling answers. People tend to have greater resilience when they feel part of a community, which can prevent symptoms of depression and reduce stress and anxiety. A central insight is that shared social identity is the key to understanding and improving mental health of neighbourhoods.

The health benefits hiding in your street

The science is clear: knowing your neighbours isn't just nice to have—it's genuinely beneficial for your wellbeing, particularly as we age. Supportive interactions with neighbours, including giving and taking any types of support, are related to better mental health status.

For Australians in their 60s and 70s, this connection becomes even more crucial. For pre-old people, only the presence of neighbours, not kin members or friends, in social supportive interactions has consistently beneficial associations with mental health. Accessibility of neighbour social support should be considered in community-based mental health promotion interventions.

The data from community connection programs is particularly encouraging. Studies show that Neighbour Day participants experience significantly lower levels of loneliness compared to the general population, with nearly 65 per cent of participants reporting improved mental health outcomes.

City versus country: the connection divide

Not all neighbourhoods are created equal when it comes to fostering connections. The research reveals a clear pattern: people living in regional areas are more likely to know all their neighbours' names (32 per cent) compared to those in cities and metropolitan areas (24 per cent).

This isn't particularly surprising—smaller communities naturally foster more interaction. What's more interesting is that the benefits of these connections seem to scale up. Rural residents often report stronger community support networks, which becomes particularly valuable during emergencies or difficult times.

Modern challenges to neighbourly relations

Today's neighbourhood dynamics face unique modern pressures. More than a quarter (26 per cent) have received passive-aggressive messages from their neighbours, with the problem particularly prominent among Gen Z (34 per cent), Gen Y (31 per cent), and in urban areas.

Technology adds another layer of complexity. Nearly half (45 per cent) of households now have security cameras, but comfort levels are mixed when it comes to neighbours' cameras. Almost a quarter (24 per cent) are very comfortable with neighbours potentially filming their property, while 2 in 5 (41 per cent) are only somewhat comfortable, and a significant 1 in 5 (20 per cent) are not comfortable at all. With nearly two-thirds (63 per cent) expressing privacy concerns about drones in their neighbourhood, it begs the question: are we sacrificing neighbourly harmony for a sense of security?

Despite these modern hurdles, the fundamentals of good neighbourliness remain unchanged.

Australia's friendliest neighbourhoods revealed

While the overall trend might seem discouraging, some Australian communities are bucking the trend beautifully. Sutherland in southern Sydney has been crowned the country's friendliest neighbourhood, with more than three-quarters (75.7 per cent) of residents rating their neighbours as 'excellent'.

Cairns and South Australia's south-east tied for second place (74.7 per cent), closely followed by Moreton Bay South (74.7 per cent) and Victoria's Warrnambool (74.6 per cent).

These communities prove that strong neighbourhood connections are still very much alive in Australia. What sets them apart? Often, it's a combination of factors: manageable community size, shared challenges that bring people together, and residents who actively choose to prioritise relationships over isolation.

Taking the first step: practical connection strategies

The good news is that more than 4 in 5 Australians (83 per cent) consider ourselves good neighbours, believing that being friendly and approachable (64 per cent) tops the list, followed by respecting privacy and boundaries (58 per cent), keeping noise down (58 per cent), being considerate (56 per cent), helpful when needed (50 per cent), and being trustworthy (50 per cent).

So if most of us want to be good neighbours, why aren't we connecting? Often, it's simply not knowing how to start.

Start small and stay consistent

The key to neighbourhood connections is consistency rather than grand gestures. A simple wave when collecting the mail, a friendly 'how's your day going?' when paths cross, or offering to bring in bins when you're bringing in your own—these small acts build familiarity over time.

Leverage shared experiences

Dog walking, morning garden maintenance, or evening strolls create natural opportunities for casual conversation. Spend time outside, take your dog for a walk in areas with other dog owners, lend a hand if you see someone struggling with a task.

Ask for local knowledge

Asking your new neighbours about the area is a fantastic way to get to know them. Asking about local relaxation spots, receiving cafe and restaurant recommendations can be used as valuable insight into what you should be looking forward to. Most people enjoy sharing their local expertise and recommendations.

Host a casual gathering

Consider setting up a casual event and inviting your neighbours. A great way to do this is slipping invitations into your neighbours' mailboxes. Putting in the effort to wine and dine your new neighbours is sure to help you win them over.

The ripple effect of connection

The benefits of neighbourhood connections extend far beyond individual wellbeing. A staggering 4 in 5 (81 per cent) say they would be deterred from buying or renting a property if 'bad neighbours' were present. This suggests that friendly neighbourhoods don't just feel better—they're also more desirable places to live.

Strong neighbourhood connections also contribute to community resilience during emergencies, reduce local crime rates, and create informal support networks that can be particularly valuable for older residents.

It's never too late to bridge the gap

Research shows that nearly one in three Australians report feeling lonely, with over 15 per cent saying they often or always feel lonely. Young people aged 18-24 are the most likely to experience frequent loneliness. But loneliness isn't just a young person's problem—it affects people of all ages, and the solution often lies closer than we think.

The evidence is clear: knowing your neighbours isn't just a nice throwback to simpler times—it's a practical strategy for better mental health, increased safety, and a more fulfilling daily life. Whether you're in bustling Sutherland or anywhere else across Australia, the person living next door might just be the community connection you didn't know you needed.

So here's a challenge for this week: when you next see a neighbour, don't just nod politely and hurry past. Stop for a moment, introduce yourself if you haven't already, and ask how their day is going. You might be surprised by how much that simple gesture benefits both of you.

What's been your experience with neighbourhood connections? Have you found creative ways to build community in your street? Share your stories and tips with fellow readers—after all, building community starts with sharing our experiences.