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Quotes by the Late Great Spike Milligan:
All men are cremated equal. ~Spike Milligan
All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy. ~Spike Milligan
I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine. ~Spike Milligan
Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs? ~Spike Milligan
Money couldn’t buy friends, but you get a better class of enemy. ~Spike Milligan
I’m a hero with coward’s legs. ~Spike Milligan
How long was I in the army? Five-foot eleven. ~Spike Milligan
I turned and rubbed my hands with glee. I always keep a tin of glee handy. ~Spike Milligan
I’m not afraid of dying, I just don’t want to be there when it happens. ~Spike Milligan
Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion. ~Spike Milligan
Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death. ~Spike Milligan
I can speak Esperanto like a native. ~Spike Milligan
A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherd’s Bush. ~Spike Milligan
A family man from Siberia; As a father was very inferior; But one operation; Revised the situation; And now he’s Mother Superior. ~Spike Milligan
And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected. ~Spike Milligan
