Recent content by melnugro

PEOPLE ON A ROPE

Who On Earth Are You, Then ? A photographer from a well know national magazine was assigned to cover the fires at Yellowstone National Park. The magazine wanted to show the heroic work of the fire fighters as they battled the blaze. When the photographer arrived, he realized that the smoke...

OMG - Was only talking to the driver towing us home yesterday ..HMMM Not sure on the other states but here in W.A. there are Warning Signs on the fact that there are 1080 baits in the area . My dog wears a muzzle for all forest walks or whatever, as am sure most of you know birds ala crows can...

The ABCs of Marriage After being married for 25 years, a wife asked her husband to describe her. He looked at her carefully, then said, "You are A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K." "What does that mean?" she asked suspiciously. He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy...

The Dentist and the Viagra The other day, a gentleman went to the Dentist's office to have a tooth pulled. The Dentist pulls out a freezing needle to give him a shot. "No way! No needles! I hate needles", the man said. The Dentist starts to hook up the laughing gas and the man immediately...

When it Rains ... A man goes into the confession booth at church. "Forgive me father, for I have sinned." "What is your sin, my son?" Asks the priest. "Well, about a month ago I was in the library until closing time, and when I wanted to leave it started to rain very heavily and didn't let...

Pastor Pays Visit To Parishioner ! A pastor goes to a nursing home for the first time to visit an elderly parishioner. As he is sitting there, he notices a bowl of peanuts beside her bed and takes one. As they continue their conversation, he can't help himself and eats one after another...

How Mummy and Daddy Met A boy goes to his father and asks him: "Daddy, how was I born?" "Ah, very well," His dad sighed. "One day you'll find out anyway. How shall I put it in a way your generation will understand... Well," he said "mum and dad got together in a chat room. Dad set up a date...

Saving the Forest There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting. He said, "Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it's...

Blonde Goes to a Salon ! A blonde was rollerblading with her headphones on. She stopped at a hair salon and asked for a haircut. She instructed that the hair stylist could not take off her headphones. The stylist refused to cut her hair like that, so she left. She went to a different hair...

The Missing Wife A man walks into a police station in tears and goes to the sergeant at the desk. Husband: "My wife is missing. She went to rescue people from the flood yesterday and has not come home!" Sergeant: "What is her height?" Husband: "Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet...

The Deaf Mute at the Golf Course A deaf mute steps up to tee off on the first hole of a golf course, when a large burly guy yells "Hey You!, Nobody tees off ahead of Big Ralph". Being deaf the poor guy continues to prepare for his shot, so Ralph runs up thinking the deaf mute is being...

The Cat Statue A man walks into an antique store and starts looking around. Suddenly, he gazes upon the most stunning bronze statue of a Siamese cat. He asks the store owner how much he wants for the statue. The store owner replies "It's $200 for the statue and $2000 for the story that goes...

How to Turn Tomatoes Red . A woman’s garden is growing beautifully but the tomatoes won’t ripen. She goes to her neighbor and says, ” Your tomatoes are ripe, mine are green. What can I do about it ?” The man replies, ” Well, it may sound absurd but here’s what to do. Tonight there’s no moon...

Trying to Get a Job in India... Mujibar was trying to get a job in India. The Manager said, '' Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one. Unless you pass it, you cannot qualify for this job.'' Mujibar said, '' I am ready. '' The manager said, '' Make a sentence using the words...