Recent content by Giannidifirenze

A new commander was taking the galley out for a cruise on the harbour. He says to the drummer take her up to ‘half speed’ at which the drummer beat his drum to the required beat so that the slaves manning the oars would keep rhythm. ‘Ok, up to Cruise Speed’ … and the drumming became more intense...

For you Helen… ‘No, a frayed knot’🥲

Rewrite the last line using words spelt differently but sound exactly the same.

I really like this joke but nobody else does??? Actually one of my best ones.

I saw the photo of the Toyota is this one of the cars understating its fuel efficiency??? Why didn’t the story name which cars? Of course buyers will trust manufacturers specs when that’s all the information available. Why haven’t you published your results? Nah lift your game.

A piece of string walked into a bar. ‘We don’t serve string in here’ So the piece of string went outside and threw himself around on the footpath for a bit then went back into the bar. ‘Are you a piece of string?’ ‘No, afraid not’

No I didn’t. But I arrived at the Pearly Gates with two other blokes and St Peter said you can only enter if you’ve got something to contribute to the Christmas in July party… the first bloke pulled out his jangling car keys… he said ‘Xmas bells’… ‘You’re in’ Second bloke pulled out his...

I dreamt that the Grim Reaper had come for me and I fought him off with the vacuum cleaner. I was Dyson with Death.

Maude, Mabel, and Meryl were sitting on the park bench having their sandwich lunch when Freddy the Flasher jumped out of the bushes in front of the startled trio. Maude immediately had a stroke, within a minute Mabel succumbed and had a stroke also. But poor old Meryl's wrist was seized up with...

32.58% with a swing of -0.76%. Libs 23.89% of the vote with a swing of -4.89% to be precise.

China buys far more from Australia than we buy from them. We rely on China as a major trading partner for our sales in agriculture, mining & resources and their investment (approx $100B). If China decides to stop importing Australian Lobster, wine or timber etc. we’re at panic stations and our...

Nope it wasn’t ’the majority of Australians’ Labor got 34% of the primary vote.

Bonds was an iconic Australian brand I think working out of Western Sydney but the cost of labour was sending them broke… so they set up their manufacturing in Vietnam… I don’t think it’s where the clothes are made that matters regarding quality but more the expectation of the Quality Assurance...

I’ve attended quite a few functions over the years which necessitated wearing a tie…so functional?

I go to the Bra section of Best and Less also… usually when they have a sale… I look for a nice satin bra and matching thong for my spare pillow. Just in case I’m in a position where I need to unhook one again… don’t want to be fumbling around in the dark.