Note from the Editor:
This article was kindly written for the SDC by retired psychologist/ member @Joy Straw.

As we get older, there are many decisions that require us to voice our rights and our wishes. It is very often necessary to let people know what you want in order to save the pain of making decisions later when emotions become overwhelming or inhibit appropriate decisions. Throughout life, we regularly make decisions that can be life-changing or can affect the whole family. As we get older, we often become reluctant to make some of these final decisions.

We’ve navigated asking the boss for a raise, getting rid of uninvited guests, and we’ve made decisions about how much babysitting we will do with grandkids and even how many children we will have. But sometimes, things that require us to state our wishes and exercise our rights can be quite difficult. Why?

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[julieapol]

We lost a daughter in 2009, Sara wasn't 19. Life was very hard for so many reasons not just losing her, people don't understand the Super Rules which are way different from what people think. Super beneficiaries need to be updated regularly, even if it's the same person, just so it can't be challenged.
If young ones work they need to have something in writing, at least get them to review their Super, our daughters was not even sighted by us even though under 18 needs parents signature for it to go ahead and be accepted.
From this experience we all have funeral planes and wills, we have spoken to our children and each other about what we want to happen in case of illness, hospitalization and or diminished capacity. The kids (adults with own family's) know exactly what we want as we sat and talked about it.
I could go on forever and tell you about what we found out through experience, unfortunately, but please do something as our children do sometimes leave us to soon, don't think it won't happen to you, it does, and when it does you realize there are things you should have talked about.

 

[Joy Straw]

We lost a daughter in 2009, Sara wasn't 19. Life was very hard for so many reasons not just losing her, people don't understand the Super Rules which are way different from what people think. Super beneficiaries need to be updated regularly, even if it's the same person, just so it can't be challenged.
If young ones work they need to have something in writing, at least get them to review their Super, our daughters was not even sighted by us even though under 18 needs parents signature for it to go ahead and be accepted.
From this experience we all have funeral planes and wills, we have spoken to our children and each other about what we want to happen in case of illness, hospitalization and or diminished capacity. The kids (adults with own family's) know exactly what we want as we sat and talked about it.
I could go on forever and tell you about what we found out through experience, unfortunately, but please do something as our children do sometimes leave us to soon, don't think it won't happen to you, it does, and when it does you realize there are things you should have talked about.

Thank you Julieapol I’m so sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter at such a young age. It is so true that until we start to look into things there are often many things we don’t know about. Getting our affairs in order makes life a lot easier for those left be hind. Again I’m sorry for the pain you are going through but thank you for point out an important issue

 

[Tactful]

is imperative we talk about life changing events and death as a normal part of conversations.
My father was big on we 6 kids making wills when we turned 16. I changed my will when I got married as did my husband. We are both in our 70's and as part of our ongoing 5 year plans revisited our wills, Powers of Attorney both Financial and Medical as well as our end of life plan and funeral arrangements. We are both organ donors and have included this in our end of life information.
Putting your head in the sand will not help your family if you have a stroke etc.
Make the end of your life a simple process, this will help them grieve your dead.
Finally I would remind everyone none of us will live forever, death will come to us all. We just don't know when, where or how, so be prepared to meet your maker everyday and have your affairs in order.

 

[gamiry]

I've actually been friends with my funeral director's family since 2000 and my funeral has been paid for totally since 2009. David even updated my will for me. I had asked for ashes to be put on the Burnett River but while we were talking a few weeks ago he asked me "how would you like me to take you fishing?" I love it, He can take me with him when he goes on one of his fishing trips. Here Fishy Fishy Come to Mumma LOL