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Terrible Puns
When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
I know a chap who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
Moses, did Hebrew tea?
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
A girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O.
PMS jokes aren't funny: period.
American Indians got there first but they had reservations.
Energizer bunny was arrested. Charged with battery.
I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
When a clock gets hungry, does it go back four seconds?
A dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary is called a thesaurus.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
All the toilets in Melbourne's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
Velcro is such a rip off.
Cartoonist found dead. Details are sketchy.
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.