SDC Rewards Member
Upgrade yours now

Tae A Fart (with apologies to Rabbie Burns)
Oh what a sleekit horrible beastie
Lurks in yer belly efter the feastie
Jist as you sit doon among yer kin
There sterts to stir an enormous win'
The neeps 'n' tatties 'n' mushie peas
Stert workin' like a gentle breeze
But soon the puddin' wi' the sauncie face
Will hae ye blawin' a' ower the place
Nae matter whit the hell ye dae
A'bodys gonnae hiv tae pay
Even if ye try tae stifle
It's like a bullet oot a rifle
Hawd yer bum ticht tae the chair
Tae try an' stop the leakin' air
Shiffy yersel fae cheek tae cheek
An' pray tae God it disnae reek
But aw yer efforts go assunder
Oot it comes like a clap o' thunder
Ricochets aroon the room
Michty me a sonic boom
God almichty it fairly reeks
Hope a huvnae shit ma breeks
Tae the bog a better scurry
aw whit the hell it's no ma worry
A'body roon aboot me chokin'
Wan or twa are nearly bokin'
A'll feel better fae a while
Cannae help but raise a smile
Wis him A shout wi' accusin' glower
Alas too late he's jist keeled ower
Ye dirty bugger they shout an' stare
A dinnae feel welcome ony mair
Where e'er ye be let yer wind gang free
Sounds like jist the job fur me
Whit a fuss at Rabbie's party
Ower the sak o' wan wee farty.
Oh what a sleekit horrible beastie
Lurks in yer belly efter the feastie
Jist as you sit doon among yer kin
There sterts to stir an enormous win'
The neeps 'n' tatties 'n' mushie peas
Stert workin' like a gentle breeze
But soon the puddin' wi' the sauncie face
Will hae ye blawin' a' ower the place
Nae matter whit the hell ye dae
A'bodys gonnae hiv tae pay
Even if ye try tae stifle
It's like a bullet oot a rifle
Hawd yer bum ticht tae the chair
Tae try an' stop the leakin' air
Shiffy yersel fae cheek tae cheek
An' pray tae God it disnae reek
But aw yer efforts go assunder
Oot it comes like a clap o' thunder
Ricochets aroon the room
Michty me a sonic boom
God almichty it fairly reeks
Hope a huvnae shit ma breeks
Tae the bog a better scurry
aw whit the hell it's no ma worry
A'body roon aboot me chokin'
Wan or twa are nearly bokin'
A'll feel better fae a while
Cannae help but raise a smile
Wis him A shout wi' accusin' glower
Alas too late he's jist keeled ower
Ye dirty bugger they shout an' stare
A dinnae feel welcome ony mair
Where e'er ye be let yer wind gang free
Sounds like jist the job fur me
Whit a fuss at Rabbie's party
Ower the sak o' wan wee farty.