[Skipton]

Shorties​

Bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman, “Which book has helped you most in your life?” The woman replied, “My husband’s cheque book !!”
******
A prospective husband in a book store “Do you have a book called ‘Husband – the Master of the House?’ "Sales girl: “Sir, fiction and comics are on the 1st floor!”
******
Someone asked an old man: “Even after 70 years, you still call your wife – darling, honey, luv. What’s the secret?" Old man: “I forgot her name and I’m scared to ask her."
******
Pharmacist to customer: “Sir, please understand, to buy an anti-depression pill you need a prescription ...Simply showing marriage certificate and wife’s picture is not enough!"
******
For MEN.....and WOMEN with a bit of humour?? A man was granted two wishes by God. He asked for the best drink & the best woman ever. Next moment he got mineral water & Mother Teresa.
******
There are 3 kinds of men in this world. Some remain single and make Wonders happen. Some have girlfriends and see Wonders happen. Rest get married and wonder what happened!
******
Wives are magicians. They can change anything into an argument.
******
Why do women live a Better, Longer & Peaceful Life, compared to men?
A very INTELLIGENT student replied: "Because Women don't have a wife!"
******
COOL MESSAGE BY A WIFE: Dear Mother-in-law, Don't teach me how to handle my children. I am living with one of yours and he needs a lot of improvement!
******
When a married man says, "I WILL THINK ABOUT IT" - what he really means is that he doesn't know his wife's opinion yet.
******
A lady says to her doctor: "My husband has a habit of talking in his sleep! What should I give him to cure it?" The doctor replies: "Give him an opportunity to speak when he's awake! "

 

[Dennis]

Dennis R's Morning Pun, Doctor-Doctor I am at death' s door. Don't worry I will pull you through.

 

[Gazman]

Shorties​

Bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman, “Which book has helped you most in your life?” The woman replied, “My husband’s cheque book !!”
******
A prospective husband in a book store “Do you have a book called ‘Husband – the Master of the House?’ "Sales girl: “Sir, fiction and comics are on the 1st floor!”
******
Someone asked an old man: “Even after 70 years, you still call your wife – darling, honey, luv. What’s the secret?" Old man: “I forgot her name and I’m scared to ask her."
******
Pharmacist to customer: “Sir, please understand, to buy an anti-depression pill you need a prescription ...Simply showing marriage certificate and wife’s picture is not enough!"
******
For MEN.....and WOMEN with a bit of humour?? A man was granted two wishes by God. He asked for the best drink & the best woman ever. Next moment he got mineral water & Mother Teresa.
******
There are 3 kinds of men in this world. Some remain single and make Wonders happen. Some have girlfriends and see Wonders happen. Rest get married and wonder what happened!
******
Wives are magicians. They can change anything into an argument.
******
Why do women live a Better, Longer & Peaceful Life, compared to men?
A very INTELLIGENT student replied: "Because Women don't have a wife!"
******
COOL MESSAGE BY A WIFE: Dear Mother-in-law, Don't teach me how to handle my children. I am living with one of yours and he needs a lot of improvement!
******
When a married man says, "I WILL THINK ABOUT IT" - what he really means is that he doesn't know his wife's opinion yet.
******
A lady says to her doctor: "My husband has a habit of talking in his sleep! What should I give him to cure it?" The doctor replies: "Give him an opportunity to speak when he's awake! "

Absolutely love the last one. LMAO

 

[BridgewaterMike]

Two guys in a pub, one says "My wife is an Angel", the other guy said, "You are lucky, mine's still alive".

 

[Big M]

Shorties​

Bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman, “Which book has helped you most in your life?” The woman replied, “My husband’s cheque book !!”
******
A prospective husband in a book store “Do you have a book called ‘Husband – the Master of the House?’ "Sales girl: “Sir, fiction and comics are on the 1st floor!”
******
Someone asked an old man: “Even after 70 years, you still call your wife – darling, honey, luv. What’s the secret?" Old man: “I forgot her name and I’m scared to ask her."
******
Pharmacist to customer: “Sir, please understand, to buy an anti-depression pill you need a prescription ...Simply showing marriage certificate and wife’s picture is not enough!"
******
For MEN.....and WOMEN with a bit of humour?? A man was granted two wishes by God. He asked for the best drink & the best woman ever. Next moment he got mineral water & Mother Teresa.
******
There are 3 kinds of men in this world. Some remain single and make Wonders happen. Some have girlfriends and see Wonders happen. Rest get married and wonder what happened!
******
Wives are magicians. They can change anything into an argument.
******
Why do women live a Better, Longer & Peaceful Life, compared to men?
A very INTELLIGENT student replied: "Because Women don't have a wife!"
******
COOL MESSAGE BY A WIFE: Dear Mother-in-law, Don't teach me how to handle my children. I am living with one of yours and he needs a lot of improvement!
******
When a married man says, "I WILL THINK ABOUT IT" - what he really means is that he doesn't know his wife's opinion yet.
******
A lady says to her doctor: "My husband has a habit of talking in his sleep! What should I give him to cure it?" The doctor replies: "Give him an opportunity to speak when he's awake! "

Hate these jokes - they demean women!

 

[SM17453]

Oh Big M. Please get over yourself. They are just jokes. None portray violence or any other such horror. IF they are demeaning, they are just as much so against the men for being such idiots. To all who post when they don't like a joke or don't find it funny - just ignore it and move on. Others find them funny - so what.

 

[Robbo3006]

Hate these jokes - they demean women!

Maybe hit a nerve, Me thinks.

 

[thomas]

Shorties​

Bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman, “Which book has helped you most in your life?” The woman replied, “My husband’s cheque book !!”
******
A prospective husband in a book store “Do you have a book called ‘Husband – the Master of the House?’ "Sales girl: “Sir, fiction and comics are on the 1st floor!”
******
Someone asked an old man: “Even after 70 years, you still call your wife – darling, honey, luv. What’s the secret?" Old man: “I forgot her name and I’m scared to ask her."
******
Pharmacist to customer: “Sir, please understand, to buy an anti-depression pill you need a prescription ...Simply showing marriage certificate and wife’s picture is not enough!"
******
For MEN.....and WOMEN with a bit of humour?? A man was granted two wishes by God. He asked for the best drink & the best woman ever. Next moment he got mineral water & Mother Teresa.
******
There are 3 kinds of men in this world. Some remain single and make Wonders happen. Some have girlfriends and see Wonders happen. Rest get married and wonder what happened!
******
Wives are magicians. They can change anything into an argument.
******
Why do women live a Better, Longer & Peaceful Life, compared to men?
A very INTELLIGENT student replied: "Because Women don't have a wife!"
******
COOL MESSAGE BY A WIFE: Dear Mother-in-law, Don't teach me how to handle my children. I am living with one of yours and he needs a lot of improvement!
******
When a married man says, "I WILL THINK ABOUT IT" - what he really means is that he doesn't know his wife's opinion yet.
******
A lady says to her doctor: "My husband has a habit of talking in his sleep! What should I give him to cure it?" The doctor replies: "Give him an opportunity to speak when he's awake! "

wives are really good housekeepers, when the marriage breaks down they keep the house

 

[SirExton]

Hate these jokes - they demean women!

I take it your a woman? Or a male with empathy? See you can multi task!

 

[Gazman]

Two guys in a pub, one says "My wife is an Angel", the other guy said, "You are lucky, mine's still alive".

Getting better. Brilliant!

 

[SirExton]

Oh Big M. Please get over yourself. They are just jokes. None portray violence or any other such horror. IF they are demeaning, they are just as much so against the men for being such idiots. To all who post when they don't like a joke or don't find it funny - just ignore it and move on. Others find them funny - so what.

Brilliant response SM17453 Never a truer word said in jest!!!

 

[MHM]

Hate these jokes - they demean women!

Have a laugh, they're free.

 

[Macarj]

Hate these jokes - they demean women!

It's what it is A JOKE

 

[Brassmonkey1938]

Where do bad rainbows go?

Prism.

It's a short sentence & gives them time to reflect.

 

[Wandiwa]

Maybe hit a nerve, Me thinks.

I tell you there's a few on here I would never invite to a party. They'd kill it instantly.

 

[Jill57]

Hate these jokes - they demean women!

But you have to admit they are funny, I hate blonde jokes but I can see the funny side

 

[Leenie]

Hate these jokes - they demean women!

Lighten up ,what’s life without laughter.

 

[Leenie]

Shorties​

Bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman, “Which book has helped you most in your life?” The woman replied, “My husband’s cheque book !!”
******
A prospective husband in a book store “Do you have a book called ‘Husband – the Master of the House?’ "Sales girl: “Sir, fiction and comics are on the 1st floor!”
******
Someone asked an old man: “Even after 70 years, you still call your wife – darling, honey, luv. What’s the secret?" Old man: “I forgot her name and I’m scared to ask her."
******
Pharmacist to customer: “Sir, please understand, to buy an anti-depression pill you need a prescription ...Simply showing marriage certificate and wife’s picture is not enough!"
******
For MEN.....and WOMEN with a bit of humour?? A man was granted two wishes by God. He asked for the best drink & the best woman ever. Next moment he got mineral water & Mother Teresa.
******
There are 3 kinds of men in this world. Some remain single and make Wonders happen. Some have girlfriends and see Wonders happen. Rest get married and wonder what happened!
******
Wives are magicians. They can change anything into an argument.
******
Why do women live a Better, Longer & Peaceful Life, compared to men?
A very INTELLIGENT student replied: "Because Women don't have a wife!"
******
COOL MESSAGE BY A WIFE: Dear Mother-in-law, Don't teach me how to handle my children. I am living with one of yours and he needs a lot of improvement!
******
When a married man says, "I WILL THINK ABOUT IT" - what he really means is that he doesn't know his wife's opinion yet.
******
A lady says to her doctor: "My husband has a habit of talking in his sleep! What should I give him to cure it?" The doctor replies: "Give him an opportunity to speak when he's awake! "

Keep them coming ,there’s not enough humour in this world.