[Skipton]

Puncture Perfect​

There were three men out sailing, a Japanese, a Hawaiian, and a Portuguese.
They get shipwrecked on this uncharted island. Shortly after climbing onto
the beach they are surrounded by hostile cannibals.
The chief conveys to them that the cannibals intend to kill them and eat them.
Then they will use their skin to make a canoe. But each man will be able to choose how he dies.
The chief will give them that dignity. The Japanese man goes first.
He exclaims "Give me a sword!" They find a sword and the Japanese
man has them chop his head off as he writes a haiku in the sand.
The cannibals strip his flesh to cook and take his skin to use for a canoe.
The Hawaiian volunteers to go next. He asks the chief to use a coconut and bash his head in.
The cannibals comply and bash him in the head with a coconut until he dies.
They strip his flesh and take his skin for a canoe.
Now only the Portuguese man remains. He tells the chief "Give me a fork."
The cannibals are confused and tell him that he must choose a method of death.
He still insists "Give me a fork!". Finally the chief gives in and lets the man have a fork.
The Portuguese man starts repeatedly stabbing himself all over yelling
"Stuff you! Here's to your canoe bitch!