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Better than waking up crying. Dennis R's Morning Pun. What does a crab use to call someone? A shellular phone.

Eye Eye. A man is sitting at the bar staring at his drink, when a large, intimidating rider steps up next to him, grabs the drink and gulps it down with one swig, Whatcha going to do about it ? he asks the man menacingly. , this was the worst day of my life, I was late for a meeting and my...

Dennis R's Morning Pun Knock Knock. Whos'e there? William, William who? William minds your own business?

About time we returned back to labor built cars, you never got all these returns in the old days.

Dennis R's Afternoon Joke. The best medicine, Barney , I cannot stop my hands from shaking, Doctor do you drink a lot? Barney, not really, I spill most of it.

I shop at Aldi for a fortnight the only vegetable I buy is potatoes so nothing goes floppy in the fridge, I make my shopping list on a Wednesday ready for my ECH person to take me shopping, regarding any specials I only purchase what is on my list, I also have an exercise book in which I record...

Three cheers for the Princess of Wales

Thank goodness I got rid of the car. Dennis R's Morning Pun. Doctor- Doctor I think I am getting shorter. You'll just have to be a little patient.

My memories of the Queen were when she was Princess Elizabeth, at the age of 14 I joined the local platoon of the Sherwood Foresters Cadet Bn. A company, during my 4 yrs. service before being called up for national service I reached the rank of Quartermaster Regimental Sergeant major, After the...

Dennis R's Afternoon Joke. A Commander and a Sergeant were in the field doing w/e military training. As they went to bed the Sergeant said, Sir look into the sky and tell me what you see, the Company commander said I see millions of stars, and what does that tell you sir? Astronomically...

Covered allover with sweet violets Dennis R's Morning Pun. Why didn't the ghost eat liver? He hadn't the stomach for it.

I have used both jokes for many years, but they are good ones Dennis R's Morning Pun. Why didn't the man die when he drank poison? Because he was in the living room.

How about a special section for complaints, I know one to be the first to use it.

Oh dear, what a catastrophe. Dennis R's Morning Pun. How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?

I just take them as they come in line, you take the good with the bad, maybe you would like to produce morning and afternoon entries, any help is welcome.

Well produced, the more answers we get the more we know entries are being read.

Them bones , them bones, them dry bones. Dennis R's Morning Pun. Where were potatoes first found/ In the ground.

Dennis R's Afternoon Joke. What did the drummer name her twin daughters? Anna one and Anna two

There is many new members who mav not have heard it.